“None for me” shall be permanently banned from the English language. Never again will we sit by at a birthday party and watch others raise their spoons as we secretly add up points in our heads. We will spontaneously forget how to convert scoops into minutes on the treadmill. There will no longer be guilt. Instead, there will be all the flavor of Perry’s Ice Cream with half the fat and fewer calories. Go ahead and live it up.

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